im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dick very happy bro
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
