I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So many bounce houses so little time
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
