There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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