birth control should be required to get into college
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
