I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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