Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
