he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
