I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
