try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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