i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Buhtt sex?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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