i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize