i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
