You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's shark week go big or go home
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
