The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
