I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
