Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My bed smells like the plague
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize