Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
