Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Pooping to opera.
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