Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The Olympian is in my bed
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