drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
