Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
