remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
