I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
