Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize