i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
