and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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