Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
3 2 1 whiskey
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize