if you like me you must not know who I am
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
