this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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