My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
