Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
