Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
