It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I didn't notice because vodka
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
