Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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