just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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