That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
