im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
