I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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