gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
