fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have aggressive nipples.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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