you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
