There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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