I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
