You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize