happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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