Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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