people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
