She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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