I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
zippers are such a cool invention
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
