he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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