Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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