I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When are your genitals available?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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