I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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