Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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