Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
