'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
