everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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