Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
