Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
