drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
