He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
