Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
