would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
