you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
