My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
