I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize