Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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