I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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