I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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