He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
