I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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