All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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