I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize