how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
