in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
