Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
